How Adversity Helps You Find Your True Self And Create A Life You Love

By Doug Bennett, with special guest Kyle Spyrides

When you bump up against a big challenge in your life, do you tend to your needs then look for the gift, or do you usually wallow in pain until it becomes suffering?

I’ve recently chatted to Kyle Spyrides on the Goals Do Come True podcast (click here to listen). He’s a photographer and videographer, and author of Decide Your Destiny.

Kyle was born in South Africa and moved to Australia as a young boy where he developed a close relationship with his non-biological grandparents (his mother’s partner’s parents) who helped him build and develop a positive and resilient mindset.

He’s passionate about supporting people to uncover who they are deep down, and live a life that’s true to their desires. His focus came from a near-death experience.

Recognising the call to change

Kyle: “I had a health situation that nearly killed me at 18 years old and I somehow made it out. My heart was flatlining and I thought to myself if I’ve got this heartbeat now, what am I deciding to do with my life for the following heartbeat? You have got to decide and be very intentional with your life. 

When I was seriously ill for six weeks, I had this vision that I was in South Africa playing for the national rugby team; that dream led me out of the darkest times of my teenage years. I chose not to listen to the people [medics and friends] telling me that I’d have to throw my dreams away because I’d always need more surgery or different medication. I was being pointed towards a mini version of my natural expansive being and I refused to accept it.

You need to have a vision of somewhere to get you out of the apathy of any situation you’re in; you need something pulling you forward.”

How to break free from the comfort zone

I’ve shared in previous blogs (and in my books) how I was on the brink of bankruptcy and used that adversity to propel my business and create millionaire status. It’s the willingness to get clear on what you want that makes a difference.

Kyle: “Sit down with a piece of paper. Write down what you’ve overcome and where you took risks. Often those are some of the greatest leaps forward. We jump into something, we experience pain, discomfort and inconvenience; then we have this little lull like the ocean where the waves roll in, pause and then roll out, and you’ve got an opportunity to step forward and catch one. You have to push forwards to take a risk, and the more risks you take, the less risk-averse you become.”

As tempting as it is to remain exactly where you are and wait for the stars to align, or for a sign from the universe that you should make a change now, the chances are you are limiting your growth and your happiness. You need to find what inspires you, get on that train and go wherever it goes.

When obstacles and challenges thwart your progress, you can decide whether to respond in a positive or negative way; but know that responding positively will take you further (and responding negatively will keep you stuck).

There’s an overwhelming amount of information in the world when it comes to unleashing your full potential. However, you need to recognise that your potential will continue to expand as you do; if you’re willing, there will always be a journey to enjoy.

Listen to your true voice

Kyle has some final words of wisdom that demonstrate that goal setting and following your passion doesn’t have to come from divine intervention – it can be as simple as calming your mind and letting your true voice be heard.

Kyle: “It’s integral that you spend time with yourself working out what you want out of life. Create the space you need to understand who you are, what you will or won’t do, what you need to grow, and then pick a place to start. Every time you fall down or stumble, you’re creating a beautiful part of your journey that you can learn from. Enjoy all the moments you can.”

What comes to mind when you read this blog? Do you feel like your goals are far-fetched or out of your grasp? Do you think that it’s easy for someone else but not for you? It wasn’t easy for Kyle, and I didn’t feel like it was easy for me, but both of us made enormous progress and are enjoying our respective journeys. 

Would you like support to get clear on your goals (business or personal) and bring them to reality? If so, click here to book a discovery call with me and find out how I can help you to get unstuck.