How To Create The Life You Want Without Burnout Or Struggle By Doug Bennett, with special guest Catherine Cornwall

Do you have a feeling that there’s more to life than you’re currently experiencing? Do you have the urge to get out into the world and make an impact? Do you feel like you’re teetering on the brink of something new and exciting and you need to make a big shift to make it happen?

The time will come when it’s worth making that leap.

After 19 years in corporate business, Catherine Cornwall has taken the plunge into full-time entrepreneurship. She has set up a coaching business, Clarity Queen, for ambitious women who want it all without struggle, sacrifice or burnout.

Catherine has an energy that will help propel you forward to create the life you want (you can hear our full interview on the Goals Do Come True podcast). 

Deciding to leave a full-time job and actively change your future is a bold move, even when you feel brave! The first thing I wanted to know was how easy it was for Catherine.

A bold move

Catherine: “I had plenty of sleepless nights when I was making the transition. It’s not an easy decision when you are used to that level of stability. I’m deeply grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had in corporate because all those bosses, managers, mentors and coaches have helped me be where I am today.

I’ve been on a very deep ten-year inward journey exploring my own world, my own psyche and the parts of myself that need to heal; the parts that were holding me back. I’ve broken through so many of my own limitations, rewired my belief systems and used that to create a life that I love.”

Climbing the emotional ladder

Catherine’s passion is infectious, but I wanted to know if she’d always been so confident and enthusiastic (there were definitely times in my life when I was a miserable bastard!).

Catherine: “Not that long ago I would wake up with anxiety. I had bouts of depression. I felt completely worthless, and during times of struggle I didn’t have much resilience. I powered through because I’m a ‘type A’ personality.”

“Type A” personalities are characterised by an ability to make quick decisions, embrace change and multi-task. They’re also ambitious and desire a high level of freedom, which is why so many entrepreneurs are type A (learn more about personality types here).

I related deeply to what Catherine shared because in the past I used to wonder why people weren’t drawn to me; it was because I was miserable. I decided one day to stop being miserable and look for the good in stuff. Jack Canfield (motivational author and thought leader) shares how an event and your reaction create an outcome (E+R=O; you can read more about this in my previous blog).

Your reaction is the only thing you can control in any situation. A negative reaction tends to result in a negative outcome, and likewise a positive reaction results in a positive outcome.  Catherine had some great insights.

We can make a better choice

Catherine: “We all get down days but we don’t have to live there. Nobody has to live there permanently. You can build yourself back up again, and over time you build resilience and most days you will be able to show up as a ten out of ten. When we do that, we empower ourselves and it shows up in the results we get. Our external reality reflects our inner state every single time.”

What Catherine has shared is also about developing self-compassion. There is no merit in unnecessarily suffering. Often when we create “me time” we have more capacity for change and personal growth. As an entrepreneur, you might choose to work between 40 and 70 hours a week, but it makes you lifeless and dull. You need balance.

I advise entrepreneurs (and I cover this in my new, modified book) to put time in their diary for themselves before they arrange any other meetings or appointments.

What Catherine shared on this subject was inspirational.

Create the space for new opportunities to emerge

Catherine: “You have to create space in your life for new things to come in; many of us stand in our own way and block our ability to receive things because we keep clinging onto the old. We hold onto toxic relationships because we’re too afraid to have that clear out. When I left my corporate career, which took up a large chunk of my time, I created a vacuum and suddenly that space has been filled with all kinds of incredible opportunities.

So much inspiration is coming to me now that I’ve created the space to allow it in.”

I was interested in Catherine’s self-awareness around “allowing” herself to create space; it’s common for people to keep themselves so busy that they become blind to their own habitual behaviours. Catherine was clear that she wanted to leave her role in corporate and coach full time; she followed through. I was keen to find out why she thought so many people fail to achieve their goals.

Deep beliefs can contradict the goal

Catherine: “Your number one rule for goal setting is to understand your vision; what it looks like and feels like. Your clear vision has to have emotion around it and you have to know why you want it, so you can bring it to life.

Often we say we want one thing, but our thoughts and beliefs don’t support it so we act and show up in the world in a different way; we’re out of alignment, which means we stand in our own way. I’m a massive advocate of doing the deep inner work to align yourself to your vision and then align yourself with the action steps you need to take to get there.

You need to make it an absolute; make an agreement with yourself that you are not going to do anything other than focus on and achieve these goals. I re-evaluate my goals every six months. I know if I’ve achieved them all I haven’t stretched myself enough!”

Time to think bigger

If you’re new to goal setting, it can be particularly challenging to know what your own capabilities are, so I love the idea that if you’ve smashed all your goals, you need to reassess and think bigger! 

You also need to have the right people around to support and believe in you. It’s likely you’ll have friends or family members who voice negative opinions on your goals but, often, that negativity comes from a genuine place of love (they don’t want you to be disappointed). Being part of a supportive community, hiring a coach or mentor to support you, is a massive step in the right direction. 

I would love to hear about the amazing things you’re up to in the world. Drop me a line and share your goals with me at doug@dougbennett.co.uk.